I've listened to this song over and over during the past several days, and I've been overwhelmed by the realization of how much God loves me. I haven't done anything to deserve that love. I'm not worthy of it. But, the amazing thing is that this love is a "no strings attached" kind of love. It's freely given, asking nothing in return. We just need to reach out and receive it.
Jesus sacrificed everything to show His love for me. What can I do today to show my love for Him?
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
A Love Story for Valentine's Day
It’s Valentine’s Day, so I thought that I’d deviate from my usual format and share a little bit about how I came to meet and marry my wonderful husband. I’m sure that everyone says this, but I think that we have quite an interesting story. And, for those of you who find yourself wondering if you’ll ever find “the one,” I hope that our story will offer you some encouragement.
Rewind several years to the summer of 1984. I was 17 years old and heading off to college, and I had everything planned out. I was going to finish college, get married, and be done having children by the time I was 30 years old. However, as time passed, I watched that dream slowly slipping away – at least the part about getting married and having kids. By the time I finished graduate school, I had decided that maybe it was time to “stop looking” and just get on with my life and my career. However, in spite of that decision and the fact that I usually avoided singles conferences like the plague, I decided – at the strong urging of one of my friends – to check out a singles event that his church was sponsoring.
I didn’t meet the man of my dreams at the conference, but I did make some great connections that ultimately led me to him a few years later. As a result of the conference, I started attending a small church that had recently been planted in my town. Every Wednesday night, a small group of us would meet to pray for the church and for our community – and for a man named Charles who had recently moved to China to teach English. We faithfully prayed for him every week.
As we prayed going into the new year of 1995, my pastor had a word for me that this was going to be my year – the year that the things I had dreamed of would come to pass. He was right! I had always dreamed of going to the Grand Canyon and got that opportunity. I had always dreamed of going on a mission trip and I got to do that as well. I had dreamed of working for a particular company in the area and ended up getting a job there. Of course, in the back of my mind, I also wondered if this would be the year when I would finally meet my husband-to-be.
During the summer of 1995, the mysterious Charles from China came home for a few weeks of R&R before heading back there for a new job. We didn’t spend much time together, but on the weekend before he left, all of the singles went out to lunch and to see the movie Apollo 13. While we were talking, we got onto the subject of dating and he expressed many of the same opinions that I held. That sparked my interest, and for the rest of the afternoon, I kept having these moments where I thought that he just might be the one.
A few weeks after he left, I was talking with one of my good friends (who also happened to be the pastor’s sister-in-law), and I mentioned that the only guy I had been interested in for a long time had just gotten on a plane for China. What a bummer! Then, she told me that Charles had mentioned to the pastor that he was interested in me! So, the pastor gave me Charles’ e-mail address and suggested that I should write to him in China to encourage him while he was away from home.
I took the pastor’s advice, and for about 6 months, Charles and I e-mailed each other regularly, and we got to know each other pretty well. At the end of the year, he decided to come back home because his mom was in poor health and he wanted to be closer to her. I didn’t find out until years later that he had told his brother when he arrived home that he had also come back because he had met the girl that he was going to marry!
After he came home, our friendship grew, but he didn’t want to ask me out on an official date until he had found a new job and gotten settled into his own place. Finally, in April of 1996, he asked me out and I said yes. Things were going great for a while. However, later that year, we attended a missions convention together, and things almost fell apart. Charles was busy talking to lots of old friends and making lots of new ones. I felt like he was ignoring me, and he felt like I was being emotionally immature. We weren’t quite sure what was happening, but it definitely pushed us apart for a while. Then, we discovered the book The Five Love Languages. It turns out that my love language is quality time. Charles felt like we were having quality time together as long as we were both in the same place at the same time – even if we were doing completely separate things, and that didn’t work for me. Once we discovered what our love languages were, it really helped us to put some things into perspective, and our relationship took off again.
I still had one more hurdle to clear before Charles would be ready to ask me to be his wife. You see, he had never planned to get married. He frequently travels to 3rd world countries to share the good news with people who haven’t had the chance to hear, and he felt like having a wife and family might hinder him in those endeavors. So, I had to pass a test (although I didn’t realize it at the time) to show him that I could make it under less than ideal conditions. We travelled to Hong Kong in the summer of 1997, and we stayed in some pretty basic places – no hot water, no western toilets, sporadic electricity. We stood out in the 100 degree heat and 99 percent humidity for hours on end and then had to walk for blocks in order to catch the only bus that could take us back to the youth hostel where we were staying. I think my ability to cope with all of the crazy things that happened on that trip finally convinced him that I could fit into his plans.
As we approached Christmas (1997), Charles asked me if I would go with him to the Christmas Eve service at Duke Chapel. My Christmas tradition was to spend Christmas Eve with my family, so I put up a lot of resistance. Finally, we found a compromise and decided to go to the early service at Duke Chapel. At the end of the service, while the organist was playing some hideous music (we both distinctly remember that point!), Charles pulled out a beautifully wrapped box and handed it to me. Ever the clueless one, I opened it and saw a music box, and politely thanked him for the lovely gift. He told me to open it, and to my amazement, there was a beautiful sapphire and diamond engagement ring inside! He asked me to marry him, and of course, I said yes. I also told him that if he had given me some indication that he was going to propose, then I wouldn’t have put up such a fight about going to the Christmas Eve service with him!
Fast forward to November of 1998 – the Saturday after Thanksgiving. UNC and NCSU were playing football that afternoon – which threatened to throw a monkey wrench into all of my plans. However, the game was early afternoon, and the Tarheels won, so Charles was in a great mood and our wedding went on as planned later that evening. We’ve been married now for 12 and a half wonderful years and we’ve been blessed with two beautiful daughters. I am so blessed to be able to share my life with the man that I adore – who also happens to be my very best friend.
So, I didn’t achieve my goal of being married before I was thirty – and I was of “advanced maternal age” when I finally had my children – but I wouldn’t change a thing because I’ve found my happily ever after.
“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” – Song of Solomon 8:7
Rewind several years to the summer of 1984. I was 17 years old and heading off to college, and I had everything planned out. I was going to finish college, get married, and be done having children by the time I was 30 years old. However, as time passed, I watched that dream slowly slipping away – at least the part about getting married and having kids. By the time I finished graduate school, I had decided that maybe it was time to “stop looking” and just get on with my life and my career. However, in spite of that decision and the fact that I usually avoided singles conferences like the plague, I decided – at the strong urging of one of my friends – to check out a singles event that his church was sponsoring.
I didn’t meet the man of my dreams at the conference, but I did make some great connections that ultimately led me to him a few years later. As a result of the conference, I started attending a small church that had recently been planted in my town. Every Wednesday night, a small group of us would meet to pray for the church and for our community – and for a man named Charles who had recently moved to China to teach English. We faithfully prayed for him every week.
As we prayed going into the new year of 1995, my pastor had a word for me that this was going to be my year – the year that the things I had dreamed of would come to pass. He was right! I had always dreamed of going to the Grand Canyon and got that opportunity. I had always dreamed of going on a mission trip and I got to do that as well. I had dreamed of working for a particular company in the area and ended up getting a job there. Of course, in the back of my mind, I also wondered if this would be the year when I would finally meet my husband-to-be.
During the summer of 1995, the mysterious Charles from China came home for a few weeks of R&R before heading back there for a new job. We didn’t spend much time together, but on the weekend before he left, all of the singles went out to lunch and to see the movie Apollo 13. While we were talking, we got onto the subject of dating and he expressed many of the same opinions that I held. That sparked my interest, and for the rest of the afternoon, I kept having these moments where I thought that he just might be the one.
A few weeks after he left, I was talking with one of my good friends (who also happened to be the pastor’s sister-in-law), and I mentioned that the only guy I had been interested in for a long time had just gotten on a plane for China. What a bummer! Then, she told me that Charles had mentioned to the pastor that he was interested in me! So, the pastor gave me Charles’ e-mail address and suggested that I should write to him in China to encourage him while he was away from home.
I took the pastor’s advice, and for about 6 months, Charles and I e-mailed each other regularly, and we got to know each other pretty well. At the end of the year, he decided to come back home because his mom was in poor health and he wanted to be closer to her. I didn’t find out until years later that he had told his brother when he arrived home that he had also come back because he had met the girl that he was going to marry!
After he came home, our friendship grew, but he didn’t want to ask me out on an official date until he had found a new job and gotten settled into his own place. Finally, in April of 1996, he asked me out and I said yes. Things were going great for a while. However, later that year, we attended a missions convention together, and things almost fell apart. Charles was busy talking to lots of old friends and making lots of new ones. I felt like he was ignoring me, and he felt like I was being emotionally immature. We weren’t quite sure what was happening, but it definitely pushed us apart for a while. Then, we discovered the book The Five Love Languages. It turns out that my love language is quality time. Charles felt like we were having quality time together as long as we were both in the same place at the same time – even if we were doing completely separate things, and that didn’t work for me. Once we discovered what our love languages were, it really helped us to put some things into perspective, and our relationship took off again.
I still had one more hurdle to clear before Charles would be ready to ask me to be his wife. You see, he had never planned to get married. He frequently travels to 3rd world countries to share the good news with people who haven’t had the chance to hear, and he felt like having a wife and family might hinder him in those endeavors. So, I had to pass a test (although I didn’t realize it at the time) to show him that I could make it under less than ideal conditions. We travelled to Hong Kong in the summer of 1997, and we stayed in some pretty basic places – no hot water, no western toilets, sporadic electricity. We stood out in the 100 degree heat and 99 percent humidity for hours on end and then had to walk for blocks in order to catch the only bus that could take us back to the youth hostel where we were staying. I think my ability to cope with all of the crazy things that happened on that trip finally convinced him that I could fit into his plans.
As we approached Christmas (1997), Charles asked me if I would go with him to the Christmas Eve service at Duke Chapel. My Christmas tradition was to spend Christmas Eve with my family, so I put up a lot of resistance. Finally, we found a compromise and decided to go to the early service at Duke Chapel. At the end of the service, while the organist was playing some hideous music (we both distinctly remember that point!), Charles pulled out a beautifully wrapped box and handed it to me. Ever the clueless one, I opened it and saw a music box, and politely thanked him for the lovely gift. He told me to open it, and to my amazement, there was a beautiful sapphire and diamond engagement ring inside! He asked me to marry him, and of course, I said yes. I also told him that if he had given me some indication that he was going to propose, then I wouldn’t have put up such a fight about going to the Christmas Eve service with him!
Fast forward to November of 1998 – the Saturday after Thanksgiving. UNC and NCSU were playing football that afternoon – which threatened to throw a monkey wrench into all of my plans. However, the game was early afternoon, and the Tarheels won, so Charles was in a great mood and our wedding went on as planned later that evening. We’ve been married now for 12 and a half wonderful years and we’ve been blessed with two beautiful daughters. I am so blessed to be able to share my life with the man that I adore – who also happens to be my very best friend.
So, I didn’t achieve my goal of being married before I was thirty – and I was of “advanced maternal age” when I finally had my children – but I wouldn’t change a thing because I’ve found my happily ever after.
“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” – Song of Solomon 8:7
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Is it really meaningless?
I’ve been drawn to the book of Ecclesiastes this week, and after reading it through a couple of times, I’ve decided that wise old King Solomon was a bit of a downer! Consider:
“’Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’” – Ecclesiastes 1:2
Or how about this:
“All things are wearisome, more than one can say.” – Ecclesiastes 1:8
And that’s just from the first chapter! There’s definitely more of the same throughout the rest of the book. To be fair, there are some encouraging thoughts as well. However, as I think I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been in a bit of a funk this week, so it didn’t take much for me to get right in there with Solomon. “All things are wearisome” pretty much sums up my outlook from the last few days.
But, in spite of the slightly depressing tone of the book, I can’t seem to get enough of it. There’s some insight buried in there for me, and I just haven’t been able to tease it all out yet. I’m searching for that nugget of wisdom that will help me find the balance between my vocation and my calling while still having time to enjoy my life and my family.
I believe that some of that wisdom is buried in Ecclesiastes because Solomon also says things like: “(God) has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere Him.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11-14
That thought reminds me of Paul’s statement in Philippians that he had learned to be content whatever the circumstances - or Timothy’s statement that godliness with contentment is great gain.
Contentment – satisfaction – those are not necessarily words that I would use to describe the vocational aspects of my life right now. Sigh… So, I’m hoping that Solomon can help me in my quest to find satisfaction when “all things are wearisome” and “everything is meaningless…”
If you have any wisdom to offer along these lines, I’d love for you to share it with me as well!
“’Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’” – Ecclesiastes 1:2
Or how about this:
“All things are wearisome, more than one can say.” – Ecclesiastes 1:8
And that’s just from the first chapter! There’s definitely more of the same throughout the rest of the book. To be fair, there are some encouraging thoughts as well. However, as I think I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been in a bit of a funk this week, so it didn’t take much for me to get right in there with Solomon. “All things are wearisome” pretty much sums up my outlook from the last few days.
But, in spite of the slightly depressing tone of the book, I can’t seem to get enough of it. There’s some insight buried in there for me, and I just haven’t been able to tease it all out yet. I’m searching for that nugget of wisdom that will help me find the balance between my vocation and my calling while still having time to enjoy my life and my family.
I believe that some of that wisdom is buried in Ecclesiastes because Solomon also says things like: “(God) has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere Him.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11-14
That thought reminds me of Paul’s statement in Philippians that he had learned to be content whatever the circumstances - or Timothy’s statement that godliness with contentment is great gain.
Contentment – satisfaction – those are not necessarily words that I would use to describe the vocational aspects of my life right now. Sigh… So, I’m hoping that Solomon can help me in my quest to find satisfaction when “all things are wearisome” and “everything is meaningless…”
If you have any wisdom to offer along these lines, I’d love for you to share it with me as well!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Worship Wednesday
I have to confess that I've been in a bit of a funk for the past few days, and I just can't seem to shake it off. But, this song helps to remind me that no matter how funky I'm feeling, Jesus is always there for me...
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Where's the light?
I think that I have SAD. No – that’s not a typo. I don’t think that I AM sad. I think that I HAVE SAD – Have you ever heard of it? It stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It’s basically a condition where your mood is affected by extended periods of cloudy, gray weather. And, let me tell you – we’ve had more than our share of cloudy, gray weather this winter. It makes me want to hibernate and just stay in bed – it makes me grumpy – it makes me moody – it makes me long for the sunshine. I look at the weather forecast every night hoping against hope that the weatherman is calling for a sunny day. I don’t even care if it’s cold. I just need sun. I need light. I need it just like I need food or water. I’m like a daisy. I start to wilt when I don’t get enough sunlight.
As I sat and looked out my window at the drizzly rain falling from the cold gray sky this morning, it occurred to me that people who don’t know Jesus must feel like this all the time. Metaphorically speaking, they aren’t walking in the light. They’re in a constant state of darkness, and even though they may not be able to put their finger on it, that’s what’s causing them to feel anxious and overwhelmed. That’s why they can’t seem to find any peace in their lives. That’s why there is an emptiness inside of them. There’s a longing for something that just can’t be fulfilled until someone, somewhere shines the light of Jesus into their lives.
Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message) says:
“You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”
Jesus made it clear that WE are to be lights in a dark world. I’ve been thinking about that a lot today. When I think about how much I long to escape the physical darkness of this winter weather we’re having, how much more must those around me be longing to escape their spiritual darkness. If I could flip a switch and turn on the sun right now, I would be ecstatic! Unfortunately, I can’t do that – I don’t have the power. But, guess what – I do have the power to shine a spiritual light into the darkness of someone else’s life. So, the question becomes - How can I spread a little SON-shine today?
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1Peter 2:9
As I sat and looked out my window at the drizzly rain falling from the cold gray sky this morning, it occurred to me that people who don’t know Jesus must feel like this all the time. Metaphorically speaking, they aren’t walking in the light. They’re in a constant state of darkness, and even though they may not be able to put their finger on it, that’s what’s causing them to feel anxious and overwhelmed. That’s why they can’t seem to find any peace in their lives. That’s why there is an emptiness inside of them. There’s a longing for something that just can’t be fulfilled until someone, somewhere shines the light of Jesus into their lives.
Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message) says:
“You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”
Jesus made it clear that WE are to be lights in a dark world. I’ve been thinking about that a lot today. When I think about how much I long to escape the physical darkness of this winter weather we’re having, how much more must those around me be longing to escape their spiritual darkness. If I could flip a switch and turn on the sun right now, I would be ecstatic! Unfortunately, I can’t do that – I don’t have the power. But, guess what – I do have the power to shine a spiritual light into the darkness of someone else’s life. So, the question becomes - How can I spread a little SON-shine today?
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1Peter 2:9
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Worship Wednesday
Have you ever wondered why people lift their hands in worship? For some people, lifting their hands is very natural and for others it feels strange and awkward. For my worship thought today, I decided to share a few of my thoughts on the subject.
When you encounter something new or different in a worship service, the first thing you should always ask yourself is “What does the Bible say about it?” In the case of lifting hands in worship, the Bible has quite a bit to say. A quick search yields over a dozen scriptures that talk about lifting holy hands to the Lord in worship or prayer. So, now that we’ve established that it’s Biblical, the next question might be “What’s the value of doing it?” Here are a few reasons that I’ve thought of, but I’m sure that there are many others.
The posture of lifted hands is a posture of surrender. What happens when a soldier wants to surrender to an invading army? He lifts his hands to indicate that he is turning himself over to the other side.
The posture of lifted hands is a posture of vulnerability. Think about all of the movies about the old west. The bad guys would always pull their guns and tell their victims to lift their hands to the sky. That action left the victims open and vulnerable before the gunmen. Maybe that’s not the greatest example in this context, but you get the point…
The posture of lifted hands is a posture of humility. It is a posture that a servant often adopts before a King to indicate his humble position in light of the King’s greatness.
The posture of lifted hands and open palms is the posture of one who is ready to receive. When we have a gift for our children, we often tell them to close their eyes and hold out their hands. They quickly obey in eager anticipation of what’s to come.
When we come before the Lord in worship, we need to come with humble hearts and open hands. We need to acknowledge the greatness of our Lord, and we need to be prepared to receive from him as He speaks to us. We need to be open and vulnerable about our heart condition, and we need to be ready to surrender our will to the will of our Heavenly Father.
By lifting our hands, we are aligning our outward appearance with the inward attitude of our heart. We are taking the focus off of ourselves and turning it towards the Lord. We are declaring with our hands that He must increase, and we must decrease.
“Praise the Lord, all you servants of the Lord who minister by night in the house of the Lord. Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord. May the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth, bless you from Zion.” - Psalm 134
When you encounter something new or different in a worship service, the first thing you should always ask yourself is “What does the Bible say about it?” In the case of lifting hands in worship, the Bible has quite a bit to say. A quick search yields over a dozen scriptures that talk about lifting holy hands to the Lord in worship or prayer. So, now that we’ve established that it’s Biblical, the next question might be “What’s the value of doing it?” Here are a few reasons that I’ve thought of, but I’m sure that there are many others.
The posture of lifted hands is a posture of surrender. What happens when a soldier wants to surrender to an invading army? He lifts his hands to indicate that he is turning himself over to the other side.
The posture of lifted hands is a posture of vulnerability. Think about all of the movies about the old west. The bad guys would always pull their guns and tell their victims to lift their hands to the sky. That action left the victims open and vulnerable before the gunmen. Maybe that’s not the greatest example in this context, but you get the point…
The posture of lifted hands is a posture of humility. It is a posture that a servant often adopts before a King to indicate his humble position in light of the King’s greatness.
The posture of lifted hands and open palms is the posture of one who is ready to receive. When we have a gift for our children, we often tell them to close their eyes and hold out their hands. They quickly obey in eager anticipation of what’s to come.
When we come before the Lord in worship, we need to come with humble hearts and open hands. We need to acknowledge the greatness of our Lord, and we need to be prepared to receive from him as He speaks to us. We need to be open and vulnerable about our heart condition, and we need to be ready to surrender our will to the will of our Heavenly Father.
By lifting our hands, we are aligning our outward appearance with the inward attitude of our heart. We are taking the focus off of ourselves and turning it towards the Lord. We are declaring with our hands that He must increase, and we must decrease.
“Praise the Lord, all you servants of the Lord who minister by night in the house of the Lord. Lift up your hands in the sanctuary and praise the Lord. May the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth, bless you from Zion.” - Psalm 134
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