So, I’m writing this as a public service announcement to all
of the younger women out there who are trying to nurture a career and a husband
and a family and feel like a failure because they can’t seem to figure out how to
manage three full-time jobs and still maintain their sanity.
When I got married, I fully expected to give up my career
and stay home with my children when they came along. However, life didn’t unfold quite that way. Instead, I found myself with a demanding
full-time job, a wonderful husband and two beautiful children who needed to be
loved and fed and clothed, a big, beautiful house that needed to be cleaned and
cared for – you get the idea. And, I
expected myself to be the perfect employee / mom / wife. I set the bar high.
I expected to be able to keep my house like Martha Stewart,
cook (every night, from scratch) like Betty Crocker, manage my family like June
Cleaver, and still be a lovely, smiling wife like Carol Brady. Needless to say, the toys scattered around
the house and the clutter on the counter and the thin layer of dust that just
keeps coming back would not make Martha proud.
I sometimes order takeout or (gasp) feed my family Ramen noodles and hot
dogs (sorry Betty!) I occasionally yell
at my children (June would frown). And,
I often fall asleep at 10:00pm when my husband wants me to snuggle up and watch
a sci-fi movie with him (sorry Carol!) And,
if that wasn’t enough, from 9:00 – 5:00 I was going to be the most dedicated,
focused employee at the company. Reality:
While I try to give 100% when I’m at
work, the truth is that I’m often tired or distracted, and I lose focus on what
I’m trying to accomplish.
So, what’s the point?
I’ve learned that it’s okay not to be superwoman. I’ve learned that I am pretty good at
multitasking (which comes in handy when you’re trying to run a conference call while
sitting in carpool line without letting the teachers see that you’re on the
phone). I’ve learned that sometimes,
certain things have to take a backseat when other things need to be a priority,
and that’s ok. I’ve learned that a dirty
house isn’t necessarily a sign of laziness.
Instead, it’s the result of putting people before Mr. Clean (again,
sorry Martha!) I’ve learned that my
family loves me anyway – even when I’m grumpy.
And, I’ve learned that God looks on the heart, and He knows my every
thought (even the bad ones), and He sees me when I cry because I can’t seem to
live up to the standards that I’ve set for myself – and He reaches down with
His arms of love and carries me when I can’t go another step on my own. And, I’m SO okay with that.
So, to all of you dear sisters out there who refuse to read Proverbs
31 because you just can’t bear the thought of comparing yourself to “her” –
please hear me when I say that your worth is not based on the cleanliness of
your house or the behavior of your children or the success of your career. The basis for your worth is found in this:
“For you (God) created my inmost being; you (God) knit me together in my mother’s
womb. I praise you (God) because I am
fearfully and wonderfully made; Your
works (God) are wonderful (including me), I know that full well.” (Psalm139:13-14)
And, that is all you really need to know.
