Don't be afraid to be generous...

I like to think of myself as a generous person.  I try to live my life with an open heart and open hands and an open home.  I’ve been blessed throughout my life and haven’t had to want for much.  And, I’ve always wanted to use what I have to bless others.

My mom taught us to be generous from an early age.  She taught kindergarten and first grade in a poor rural school district.  She had kids in her class who didn’t have much.  They came to school in tattered clothes.  They didn’t have coats to wear when it got cold outside.  And, there wasn’t enough left at Christmastime for turkey and a tree – much less for presents for the kids. 

I remember this so clearly.  One year there was a child in her class whose family was having a particularly rough time.  They were farmers who were barely making enough to get by.  At Christmas that year, my mom had me and my sister go through our toys and pick out a few things that we could give to the children in that family.  Then, she went and bought them a turkey and bought gloves, hats, and scarves for the kids.  But, here’s the part that I remember the most.  We took the boxes of toys and food and delivered them to this family.  When we got to their house, it was literally falling down.  The boards on the porch were rotting and broken.  There were cracks in the walls that were big enough to see through.  It was the first time I really remember seeing poverty, and it was such a stark contrast to my warm cozy home.

The thing is – we weren’t rich ourselves.  We bought our clothes at the second-hand store.  We didn’t drive a new car or take luxurious vacations.  We always had enough, but we didn’t always have extra.  But, my mom always found a way to share what we did have with others who needed it – whether it was students who weren’t going to have Christmas or shut-ins that didn’t have family close by and weren’t going to have Thanksgiving dinner.

Fast forward to 2017.  This year has been a tough year financially for my family.  We had a couple of months where it was a struggle to make ends meet.  Plus, we have a lot of expenses coming up over the next few months as daughter number one is heading off to college in another state.  And, I’ve found myself holding on a little too tightly to what I have.  The “what-ifs” in my mind have been screaming so loudly that they have started to drown out that still small voice calling me to love my neighbor as myself.

You see, it’s relatively easy to be generous when you’re giving out of your abundance.  But, it’s a whole different thing when giving costs you something – when writing that check to help someone else might cost you something that you want or need.  It’s like the story of the widow’s mite in Luke 21:1-4.  Others were giving large offerings, but she only put in two coins.  Her offering didn’t look like much in comparison.  But, Jesus said “The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford—she gave her all!”

So, here’s the lesson that I’m learning:  Don’t let fear prevent you from being generous.  Don’t let fear be the loudest voice in your life.  Don’t let fear drive your decisions on how to steward the gifts that God has given to you.  Instead, put love in the driver’s seat.  Let that be your lens as you consider the world around you.  And, ultimately, “perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18) 

That’s why, in this season of giving, I’m reminding myself to lead with love – to give generously without expecting anything in return – and to trust the One who is the giver of all good gifts because I know that He cares for me. 

Lessons still to be learned...

Like many of you, my heart is heavy with the weight of what is happening in our country right now.  And, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how I should respond – and, more specifically how I as a Christian should respond.  And, I don’t really have a good answer yet.  Some say that we should pray – and we should.  But, I don’t think that’s enough.  I think that this situation requires action.  Some say we should engage in the political process – and we should.  But, that’s complicated.  Some say we should condemn the actions of the white supremacists, and we should.  But, we can’t do that in such a way that we respond to hatred with more hatred. 

While I don’t have all of the answers, I do have a few thoughts…

First, try as we might, we’ll never be able to “legislate away” racism and hatred.  It doesn’t matter who gets elected president or what laws get passed or what statues get torn down.  The reality is that hatred is rooted deep in the heart.  Luke 6:45 says, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.  What you say flows from what is in your heart.”  Hatred and prejudice and racism flow from the heart.  They don’t flow from the government or the environment in which you live or even from the color of your skin.  The events that unfolded in Charlottesville this week were birthed out of the evil in the hearts of the protestors.  As a nation, we can, and we should, take steps to move us away from hatred and towards unity and equality.  But, it will never happen until we address the issue of the heart.       

Second, no matter how evil or vile or hateful the behavior, we always have to respond from a position of love.  The Bible is pretty clear about this point. Christ’s love compels us to love others (even – or especially – our enemies).  Romans 12:17-21 says it this way:  “Never pay back evil with more evil.  Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.  Dear friends, never take revenge.  Leave that to the righteous anger of God.  For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord.  Instead, ‘If your enemies are hungry, feed them.  If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.’  Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.”

So, how do we do that from a practical perspective?  I think one way is to dial back the rhetoric.  There has to be a way to have a civil dialog about the issues without resorting to all of the name calling that seems to be spewing from every side.  We obviously have to condemn the hateful actions of white supremacist groups, but when we move from there to pointing fingers at our friends on Facebook and hurling insults at people who have a different political affiliation, we are just making room for hate to strengthen its grip.  The bottom line is that whatever we’re doing as a country right now just doesn’t seem to be working.  What if we took a radical cue from the teachings of Jesus and tried to find a way to love our enemies?  What if we not only prayed for the victims but also for the haters?  What if, instead of calling them names, we offered them a cup of cold water? What if that’s the key to changing the heart…

Which brings me to my last (and perhaps most important) point:  We have to engage on a personal level.  And, I don’t mean joining in on the protests or counter-protests.  The more I think about it, the more I believe that healing will only come to our hearts and to our nation if we, as individuals, engage with other individuals who are different from us.  We need to spend time with people who have skin that is a different color from ours.  We need to worship with those who come from different cultures.  We need to eat a meal with those who come at life from a different perspective.  We need to reach across social and political and economic boundaries to develop real friendships with real people who are different from us.  When you really get to know someone on a personal level – when you enter into their world with the goal of understanding – it becomes much harder to hate and much easier to love.

I have a vivid memory from my teenaged years.  I was driving home on some back country roads late one evening, and I passed a KKK rally that was happening in a field not too far from my home.  It was like a scene out of a movie – a big bonfire with a circle of men in white hoods circled around it.  It terrified me.  The image is burned into my mind.  When I saw the pictures of the Charlottesville protestors marching through town with their torches, my mind flashed back to that memory – and it made me sick.  I thought we had come further.  I thought we were passed the days when this kind of hatred could be put on public display.  I thought we had changed. 

But, the truth is that we haven’t changed.  All of us have buried deep within us the potential for evil – the propensity to hate.  But, I have good news.  Love triumphs over hate every time.   Love wins.

In the words of Jesus:  “ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

Lessons from a Mother's Love

Before I had children, I had a lot of ideas about parenting.  I may have even been a little judgmental of some parents, thinking that “I would never do that” or “I would NEVER let my child do that.”  But, then I had a child – and everything I ever thought I knew or understood about parenting went right out the window.

I found out that parenting is hard.  I found out that reading “how to” books on parenting and putting those principles into practice are two very different things.  I found out that parenting is the most all-consuming, confusing, overwhelming, frustrating, rewarding, amazing, fantastic job on the planet.  And, being a parent has taught me more about God and His love for us than any sermon that I’ve ever heard (sorry all you preachers out there).

It’s hard to understand unconditional love.  And, honestly, I don’t think that we as humans here in this fallen world will ever be able to offer completely unconditional love to others.  But, the love that I have for my children comes pretty close.  When they disobey, I may get angry and I may discipline them, but I still love them.  When they are rude, my feelings may be hurt, but I still love them.  When they get in trouble at school or make a bad grade or treat their friends poorly, I may be frustrated and disappointed, but I still love them.  And, when they are good and sweet and kind, I love them just the same.

When my children need me, I drop what I’m doing and do everything in my power to help them.  I have gone without sleep and without meals and without things that I really wanted in order to make sure that they were taken care of – and I don’t have any regrets.  I’m not keeping a running tab that I pull out from time to time to remind them of all that I’ve sacrificed for them.  I count it a privilege and a joy to have been entrusted with the care of these two precious girls.

The thing that I’m learning right now during these teenage years is that I hurt when they hurt.  If they are carrying a burden, I carry it too.  When they are wronged, I feel that wrong just as deeply.  My heart breaks when they are sad and it rejoices when they are happy.

And, what I’ve really begun to understand recently is that God looks at us and feels the same way that I feel when I look at my daughters – only 1000 times more.  We are His children, and He really, truly loves us unconditionally.  He wants the best for us – even when he has to discipline us for our disobedience.  He loves us even when we turn our back on Him and walk away.  He cares for and provides for our every need.  When he sees that we are hurting and lonely, he understands and wipes away our tears.  Nothing that we can ever do can separate us from the love of God. 

Hebrews 14: 16 (CEV) says “So, whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God.  There we will be treated with undeserved kindness, and we will find help.”  The cynic might dismiss this as being a simple platitude, but when you realize that this verse is talking about a heavenly Father who is looking at us with a parent’s heart, the truth of these words really begins to settle in.

As much as I love my children, God loves me even more.  As much as I want to give good things to my children, God wants to bless me even more.  And, as much as God loves me, He wants me to go out and love others in the same way – purely and unconditionally, with both words and actions.

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth.  I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit – not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength – that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in.  And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love.  Reach out and experience the breadth!  Test its length!  Plumb the depths!  Rise to the heights!  Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.” – Ephesians 3:14-19 (MSG)

Lessons learned while waiting in line

Have you ever had to wait for a REALLY long time?  Recently, we needed to renew our childrens’ passports.  Since the government requires both parents to appear in person with the children to apply for (or renew) a passport, it was tough to find time for an appointment during the week, and Saturday appointments are few and far between.  So, when we heard that there was a passport fair happening on a recent Saturday, we decided that would be the perfect opportunity to get the passports renewed.  We called the post office, and they said to expect a short wait (worst case scenario being an hour).  So, we headed out early on Saturday morning and arrived at the post office to find a line that wound all the way around the building.  But, we figured that we might as well wait.  How bad could it be? 

It turns out that this was the biggest turn out the post office had ever seen for a passport fair – and on top of that, several employees had called in sick.  It was the perfect storm!  The postmaster periodically came out to warn us that the wait might be longer than expected, but ever the optimists, we kept thinking that surely it couldn’t be that bad.  So, we waited… and waited… and waited… and finally at some point, when we were getting really tired of waiting, we got to the point where we had invested so much time standing in that line that it seemed foolish to leave before we took care of business.  So, we waited some more… and waited… and waited…  We arrived at the post office around 9:30 that morning.  We finally finished processing the passports around 3:30 that afternoon.  We were in line not one – not two – but six hours!  That may be the longest I’ve ever waited in line for something.  It was a long day.  But, in the end, we walked away having accomplished what we set out to do.

While it was hard to stand there and wait all that time, we could physically see the team processing the passports.  While we were uncertain about the length of time we would be stuck in that line, we were completely confident that if we stood there long enough, we would get the passports processed.

But, what if we had gotten there and found an empty parking lot with a sign that said, “Wait here for your passport”?  What if we had stood there in that empty parking lot for an hour without any sign of the postmaster?  What if no one showed up in the parking lot after two hours?  I’m not so sure that we would have continued to wait.  We probably would have begun to question whether we were at the right place – or wonder if we had made the right decision in coming to the passport fair.  We probably would have pulled out our phones and double-checked the web site to make sure that we were in the right place.  We might have called the phone number to see if the event had been cancelled.  I’m not sure that we would have stayed. 

Sometimes it feels that way when we are waiting on God’s promises.  We read His word and we pray and we ask and we hear Him speak to our spirit, and we hear His promise to us.  At first, we are sure that we heard His voice.  We wait patiently and expectantly for His promise to come to pass.  Then days pass and weeks pass without seeing any evidence of the promise being fulfilled.  And, we start to wonder whether we really heard His voice.  We go back and flip through the pages of our Bible trying to reassure ourselves of God’s faithfulness.  We rally a bit and continue to wait.  Then weeks turn into months and months turn into years – and we are still waiting – and watching – and wondering.  Where is the promise?  When will it happen?  Has God forgotten?  Did we miss it altogether?  Why hasn’t it happened? 

Most of the time, we don’t get the answers to those questions.  But, sometimes we do.  Daniel did.  Daniel had received a vision from God and had prayed and asked God to help him understand what it meant.  Three weeks had passed, and Daniel still hadn’t received the understanding.  Then, something remarkable happened.  An angel appeared to Daniel, and this is what he said:

‘“Daniel, you are very precious to God, so listen carefully to what I have to say to you.  Stand up, for I have been sent to you.”  When he said this to me, I stood up, still trembling.  Then he said, “Don’t be afraid, Daniel.  Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven.  I have come in answer to your prayer. But for twenty-one days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way.  Then, Michael, one of the archangels, came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia.  Now I am here to explain what will happen to your people in the future, for this vision concerns a time yet to come.’  (Daniel 10:11-14 NLT)

Daniel was feeling forgotten – alone – unworthy.  But, in reality, none of that was true.  In fact, God loved him so much that he sent an angel to let Daniel know why the answer to his prayer had been delayed.  There were things going on that Daniel couldn’t see or understand – things that were bigger than his circumstances. 

That’s often the case when we have to wait on God.  We can become so focused on our needs – on the here and now – that we forget that there’s a bigger picture.  We forget that “God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.” (Is 55:9) 

Waiting has the potential to make us miserable if we lose sight of the bigger picture.  But, sometimes it can be a blessing in disguise.  We were reminded of this truth after our long day of waiting to get our passports processed.  When we got home, we were tired and hungry and our feet hurt.  We felt a little ridiculous for having spent our whole day standing in line.  However, we also realized that being forced to wait together had given us some concentrated family time – all “working” towards the same goal – all experiencing the same “hardships” – and all laughing together about that crazy experience after it was done.  It brought us closer together as a family – in a totally unexpected way.  Looking back, we all felt like it was a great day (even though it didn’t feel that way while we were standing in that line).  There was something that we gained by waiting together – something more than just the passports – something that we wouldn’t have gotten if we had just driven up, turned in the applications, and then driven home.

It's that way with the promises of God.  Sometimes, there is something to be gained in the waiting – something that can’t be gained in any other way.  And, when the answer finally comes – when the promise is finally fulfilled – it will be all the sweeter for the waiting.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen…  Hebrews 11:1

Is it Spring yet?

A wise man once said:

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;  A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;  A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;  A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;  A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” **

(and no, it was not Pete Seeger)

I have definitely found this to be true.  We all go through seasons in our lives.  Some are good.  Some are not so good.  When one comes to an end, another one begins.  And so it goes… on and on… (turn, turn, turn).

Right now, while we are literally in the winter season with respect to our weather, I also feel like I am in a winter season in my life.  When people talk about winter, they use words like:  long, hard, cold, dark, lonely.  They say things like:  “I can’t wait for winter to be over!  When will winter end?”  We feel like we have to endure winter in order to get to Spring.  That pretty much sums up how I’m feeling about this season of life I’m in right now.  It’s been a long season – a hard season – a lonely season.  And, I find myself wondering when this season will be over…

But, this season also has me thinking.  There must be some benefit to winter.  Otherwise, why would God have created it?  He said Himself that His creation is good.  So, there must be some good that comes out of the winter season.  And, I realized that there are some parallels between the physical season of Winter and winter seasons in our personal lives.  For example:

• Winter is a time for hibernation (rest).  The bears and the snakes and the hedgehogs curl up for a “long winter’s nap.”  Sometimes we need a season of rest, too.  We’re busy people.  We live busy lives.  Our calendars are full.  And, that’s not a bad thing.  But, it can be hard for us to slow down and say no.  Sometimes God says no for us.  Invitations stop coming.  Opportunities to serve seem to dry up.  It feels like no one needs you – or worse, like no one wants you. But maybe, that’s God’s way of helping you to hibernate – to rest – to renew your strength. 
• Winter helps plants prepare for new growth.  In winter, perennial plants go dormant.  They appear to dry up.  But, that just means they are ready to be pruned to make room for the new growth that comes in the Spring.  It’s the same way in our lives.  Sometimes we need to get rid of the old junk that’s clogging up our minds and our spirits to make room for something new.  It may hurt a little as the old stuff gets trimmed away, but we have to remember that the end result will be something beautiful.
• Winter cold kills the pests and bugs.  While that might not be a good thing if you’re a mosquito, the benefit is pretty clear for the rest of us.  A winter season in our lives is an opportunity to rid ourselves of the external things that plague us:  toxic relationships – bad habits – dead end jobs.  It might hurt to see them “dying” off, but it’s going to be much better for us in the long run.

Yes, a winter season is something to be endured, but it offers unique benefits to those who persevere through it.  While it may be a cold, dark, lonely season, there is also joy to be found as you enter into rest and renewal and restoration.  You may wonder when it’s going to end, but remember – winter always gives way to Spring.  And, with Spring comes new opportunities – new growth – new life.

It’s not always easy to walk through a winter season, but as I’ve begun to change my perspective, I’ve started to recognize some of the beauty that’s only found in winter.  And, I’m still hoping for an early Spring, but until that time, I think that I’ll take my cue from the bears and try to enjoy a long winter’s nap…

** Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8