New Beginnings...

I watched this week as a friend of mine went through the birth of her first child. Her experience was so much like mine, and it’s brought back so many memories of when my first daughter was born. One of the strongest memories that I have is from the day that we brought her home from the hospital. She fell asleep in her car seat and stayed asleep as we carefully removed her seat from the car and brought her into the house. We set her carrier in the middle of the floor, and then we just looked at her and looked at each other and basically asked, “Now what???” What were we supposed to do with this tiny little human that had suddenly been committed into our care? Should we wake her up? Should we leave her alone? Should we move her into the pack-n-play that was waiting for her in the living room or take her up to the cradle that was waiting for her in our room? We realized at that moment that we really didn’t have a clue how to be parents. In spite of all the books that we’d read and the advice that we’d been given, we had no idea what to do next. It was a bit of a helpless feeling to realize the magnitude of the responsibility that had been given to us and to feel this fierce love and desire to protect and provide for this child while at the same time acknowledging the fact that we were not sufficient to get the job done within the scope of our own limited knowledge and abilities…

Fast forward a couple of years and we were blessed with a second lovely daughter. By the time she was born, we felt like we had the parenting thing pretty much figured out. However, from the very beginning, nothing worked the same way with daughter number two. I would try all of the tricks that I had learned with daughter number one, but to no avail. We really had to start from scratch to learn what worked for our second daughter. The transition to having two children was really much harder for us than the initial transition to being parents of one. But, over time, we got the hang of things, and we began to feel comfortable again with our role as parents.

Fast forward to May 2011. In just five days, we will bring our first daughter home from her last day of elementary school and officially become parents of a junior high student. Yikes! Right now, I’m feeling much the same way I did on that first day we brought her home from the hospital. I keep asking myself, “Now what??” When I think about the challenges that will likely lie ahead for our daughter and our relationship with her over the next few years, I feel overwhelmed and I’m afraid that I don’t have what it takes to love her and nurture her and guide her down the rocky road that we know as the "teen years". Just like on that very first day, I realize that I really don’t have a clue how to be the parent of a (pre)teenager.

However, there is one important difference between that first day and this one. I’ve come to understand that it’s OK to ask “Now what?” I’ve learned that the Heavenly Father that formed my beautiful daughter in the womb also has a perfect plan for her life (Psalm 139:13-16). He has plans to prosper her and not to harm her – plans to give her a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). And, He has entrusted her into my care in spite of the fact that He knew that I would mess up and make mistakes along the way. I’ve learned that Proverbs 3:5-6 applies not only to my life but to my daughter’s life as well. If I acknowledge Him, He will give me the wisdom I need to shepherd her as He directs both of our paths.

So, I’m thankful for new beginnings. They are times of transition and times of change. They can bring great joy. But, they can also bring great fear and great anxiety. We just need to remember that, ultimately, God is in control, and He will help us walk through those transitions and come out stronger on the other side if we’ll just let Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -- Proverbs 3:5-6

Breadcrumbs

Do you remember the fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel? There are lots of aspects to the story, but the part that I’ve been thinking about recently is the breadcrumbs. You see, when Hansel and Gretel were forced to go into the woods, Hansel left a trail of breadcrumbs to help them find their way back home. Of course, the breadcrumbs were eaten by the forest animals and the story took a nasty turn, but let’s just ignore that part for a moment… The idea that I want to focus on is the fact that the breadcrumbs provided a trail marker – a path – a reminder that was meant to help the children find their way back home.

The first part of this year has been pretty eventful – not always in a good way – and I’ve had a few opportunities to question God. Sometimes I’ve wondered where He was leading us and other times I’ve wondered if He might have just forgotten about us altogether. In my heart, I know that He will never leave us or forsake us. But, when faced with uncertain circumstances, my thinking and my emotions don’t always line up with my heart. Sometimes I feel far away from God, and sometimes I wonder if I can even remember how to find my way back to that place of faith and peace and comfort that can only be found in the arms of my Heavenly Father. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve stayed away too long and forgotten the way back home…

But, over the past couple of weeks, we’ve experienced amazing protection from a couple of potentially dangerous situations, and we’ve seen provision for some financial concerns that had been weighing heavily on our minds, and we’ve seen several other things happen that made us go “Hmmmm…” Some might say that it was just lucky coincidence, but I believe that it was God leaving breadcrumbs for me –unexpected reminders of how much He cares – little things that let me know that He had already gone before me to prepare the way – tidbits that were carefully dropped at just the right place and just the right time to gently lead me back home to the loving arms of my Heavenly Father.

If you’re struggling today – if you feel like you’re lost and can’t find your way back home – look for the breadcrumbs that God has left for you along the way. They may be tiny, and they may be hard to recognize in the darkness of the woods, but I’m sure that they are there. Let them draw you back to that place of faith and relationship with the One who knows everything about you but still loves you unconditionally and is waiting with open arms for you to come back home to Him…