The Dream

I believe in the sanctity of life – all life – male, female, black, white, rich, poor, young, old, born, unborn.  I believe that life is sacred.  It is to be valued and protected.  I believe that life comes from our creator God and that all of us are created in His image.  Therefore, all of us are valuable.  I believe that life begins at the point of conception when God breathes his spirit into the very fiber of the cells in a mother’s womb.

It grieves me to live in a world where life is not valued – where gun violence is rampant, abuse is a regular occurrence, the death penalty is enforced, and where it is legal to destroy the life of an unborn baby right up until the minute before it is ready to enter the world.

I cannot understand how we can simultaneously fight with everything we have to save the life of a baby that is born prematurely at 23 weeks while across town we give permission to destroy the life of another baby that is still in the womb at 23 weeks.  How is one of these considered to be a baby - a life to be valued and saved - while the other one is “just a fetus” that can be thrown away because it isn’t really a baby yet?  I just don’t understand the logic…

But, that isn’t really the point that I want to make.  Instead, I want to share a story – one that is meant to encourage and bring hope to those who have lost a child – whether to miscarriage or stillbirth or even to abortion.  Those lives – however brief – matter.  They matter to us and they matter to God.  I’m sure of it.

How can I be so sure?  First, scripture tells us it’s true.  Psalm 139:13-6 says:

“You (God) made all the delicate, inner parts of my body  and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!     Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.  You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,     as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.  You saw me before I was born.     Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out   before a single day had passed.”

But, I also have a more personal story that I want to share.  You see, we lost our second baby to a miscarriage.  It happened quickly – at just about 5 weeks – just days after we found out we were expecting.  We were sad, but we didn’t really dwell on it.  And, for the most part, I buried the whole experience in the recesses of my mind – which is how I tend to deal with grief.

Now, fast forward about 16 years – to an evening just a few months ago.  I had one of the most vivid dreams that I have ever had.  I usually don’t remember my dreams, but this one is etched into my memory.  I still replay it in my mind, and every image is crystal clear.  I believe that God still speaks to us in dreams, and I am sure that this dream was given to me by God.

In the dream, my husband and I were in an old country store in the mountains.  We were there with a little blond-haired boy who appeared to be about 7 or 8 years old.  He was wide-eyed with wonder and had a huge smile on his face.  We walked through the store with him looking at toys and outdoor gear.  We checked out the UNC sweatshirts and filled up bags with candy from the bins in the store.  As I watched us in the store with this little boy, he seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place his identity.  I kept thinking, “Who is this sweet child?  Do I know him?”

I woke up abruptly and started to pray, asking God what the dream meant.  It was then that I clearly heard God say, “That’s your child – the one that you miscarried.  You have a son.  He’s here with me in heaven.  He’s just fine.  I’m taking care of him for you until you get here.”

I don’t know why God gave me that glimpse of our child.  I’m just thankful that he did.  I’m sad that we didn’t get to raise our son here on this earth, but I look forward to the day when we’ll be with him again – for all of eternity.

If you have lost a baby for any reason, I want you to know that God sees you and He feels your pain. He is holding your baby close in His arms until the day when you can be together again.  He loves you and He wants you to know that your baby’s life matters.  Even if you were the one who chose to abort your baby, He still sees you and He loves you and He feels your pain.  He wants to draw you close and heal your heart.  He wants you to know that His grace is sufficient for you – and for your child.  He wants you to know that your life matters too.

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.  They will be his people, and god himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’  He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’  Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.’ “ – Revelation 21:1-5