Living Life with No Margin

Operating margin:  the proportion of a company’s revenue that is left over after paying for variable costs of production.  Companies that have a healthy margin have a buffer that allows them to continue to operate smoothly even when they hit a bump in the road.

What, you may ask, does this have to do with my life?  Let me tell you…

This week, I’ve been forced to face the fact that I’ve been living life with no margin – not from a financial perspective, but with my time, energy, and emotions.  There is no room for error or deviation from the plan.  If even one thing goes wrong, it sets off a domino effect, and the end result isn’t good.  In fact, on Tuesday morning, it was really, really bad.  I think that I may have scared my children when it all came crashing down.

And, I realized that it’s no one’s fault but my own.  I’ve put myself in this position.  I’ve chosen (whether consciously or subconsciously) to live my life with no margin – trying to do it all – to be everything for everyone in every situation.  But, guess what?  Just like operating a business with no margin isn’t sustainable, living life with no margin isn’t sustainable either.  And, when you hit that breaking point – when there’s nothing left from which to draw – it not only hurts you, but it hurts everyone around you as well.

So, where does that leave me?  I can’t quit being a wife or a mom – and I wouldn’t want to.  I can’t quit being a professor – at least, not at this point in my life.  I can’t withdraw from everything that makes a demand on my time or energy.  I already average less than 6 hours of sleep a night, so staying up later or getting up earlier isn’t a good option.  And, I can’t manufacture more hours in the day. 

But, just like a company has to put good financial practices in place to insure that they have a solid operating margin, I’m realizing that I have to put some good practices in place to insure that my life has a healthy operating margin.  And, I have to prioritize these things so that they don’t fall by the wayside when the demands of life hit hard.  Otherwise, I’ll deplete my reserves and I’ll be back to square one – no margin.

I’m sure that everyone builds margin into their lives in different ways, but here are some things that I believe will help me to rebuild my margin.  Maybe they’ll help you, too.

1. Sabbath Rest.  What I’m talking about here isn’t just getting a couple of extra hours of sleep on the weekend or watching a tv show before you hit the sack.  It’s not even about honoring a particular day of the week.  A Sabbath rest implies intentionally setting aside time (at some point during the week) to both cease from your labors and to set aside the cares of the week in order to quiet your mind and refresh your soul.  Even God needed to set aside a day of rest after he created the world, so why are we so arrogant as to think that we don’t need to do the same thing?  A Sabbath rest provides a counterbalance to the busy-ness of our lives and gives us time to renew our bodies and minds so that we can do it all over again.
    
2. Prayer.  I rely pretty heavily on the Bible verse that says we are to “pray without ceasing” since I tend to grab moments throughout my day to talk to God.  However, in the busy-ness of life, intentionally setting aside a few minutes each day to pray and meditate on scripture is something that easily falls by the wayside.  Just being honest here.  But, in the words of A.J. Gordon, “You can do more than pray after you have prayed; but you can never do more than pray until you have prayed.”  As mysterious as it seems, setting aside time that is devoted to prayer and meditation doesn’t take time away from your schedule – It actually magnifies the time that you have left.
    
3. Saying NO.  Boy, this is a hard one for me.  I hate to say no when someone needs my help because one of my love languages is doing things for others.  And, I tend to be a people pleaser.  So, I don’t want to let people down.  Saying no feels like letting someone down.  But, saying NO to certain things means that I can say YES to other things.  Sometimes NO is the best answer for everyone… Which brings me to number 4…
    
4. Asking for help.  This one is even harder for me than saying no.  I hate to ask for help.  Letting others help me makes me feel like a failure.  In my mind, I should be able to do it all.  Except that, I can’t.  Plain and simple.  So, the options are letting things go undone (which may be ok in some cases, but definitely not all), or asking for help.  I have to remind myself that there is a blessing in giving to others, and allowing someone else to help me opens the door for them to be blessed in return.
    
5. Making time to plan.  What do I do when I finally find myself with a little bit of margin?  Make time to plan so that the margin continues to grow.  Planning ahead for meals for the family and transportation to and from events for the kids prevents that momentary panic that ensues when I realize that everyone has to be somewhere different and there is nothing quick to eat in the pantry.  That panic wastes time and money and emotional energy and drains what little margin I had available for the day.  Obviously, things come up that can’t be planned for in advance.  However, something as simple as making a “meal plan” for the week sure does help – even if we don’t follow it exactly.  Having a plan provides some structure to the chaos that often defines our lives.

The bottom line:  I don’t think that God designed us to live our lives without margin.  In fact, Jesus said this:

“Are you tired? Worn out? … Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

If you’re living life without margin, take a few minutes today to hit the pause button.  Find a quiet place to rest and pray and plan – to rebuild that margin so that you can “live freely and lightly.”  You’ll be glad that you did – and so will your family and friends.