On being Southern...

There are lots of things in this world that break my heart.  Seeing nine innocent people gunned down in cold blood while they were worshipping God in the safety of their own church breaks my heart.  It would break my heart whether those people were black or white or Asian or Indian.  It would break my heart whether the murder weapon was a gun or a knife or a homemade bomb.  It broke my heart when three Muslim students in Chapel Hill were gunned down over something as stupid as a parking dispute.  It breaks my heart when people in authority abuse and misuse their power resulting in even more death and destruction.  I believe in the sanctity of life – all life – regardless of age or race or gender or sexual orientation.  However, it seems that many in our society today have little regard for value of life, and it breaks my heart.

But, there’s something else that breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart that we live in a society that insists on labeling everything and everyone and then refuses to see past the labels.  The recent shootings in South Carolina have started a massive campaign to essentially ban the public display of the Confederate flag.  And, I will say that I agree that the Confederate flag shouldn’t be flown over government buildings as the “Confederate States of America” no longer exists.  And, I understand that the Confederate flag has been used as a symbol of white supremacy and, as such, offends many people.  However, the point I’d like to make has less to do with the Confederate flag and more to do with labels and stereotyping.

I am a Southern girl – born and raised in the great state of North Carolina.  My family (on both sides) has lived here since this nation was founded.  My daddy grew up on a farm that has been in our family for over 150 years.  My aunt and my cousins still live on that same land.  I am Southern to the core, and I am proud of it.  I have relatives who fought and died in the Civil War (on both sides, actually), and when I see the Confederate flag, it is a reminder of all that was won and lost during that awful time in our country’s history.  It is a reminder that we should NEVER let that kind of upheaval happen again.

I’m Southern, but I don’t own a confederate flag.  I don’t display one on my house – I don’t have one on my license plate – I don’t have the t-shirt.  But, I am friends with people who do.  They are good people.  They are not racists.  They are just proud of their Southern heritage.  This country was founded on freedom of speech and freedom of expression, and I don’t believe that people should be banned from displaying a symbol that is part of their heritage. 

I’m Southern, but I don’t own a gun.  I grew up in a household where my daddy had guns.  He would never have used them to harm someone.  Instead, he used them to protect his cattle from predators and his garden from pesky crows.  And, occasionally, at Christmastime, he would use them to shoot down some mistletoe from high up in the trees so that we could hang it in our house for decoration.  I believe that he has the right to own those guns, and I don’t believe that right should be taken away.  The fact that he owns a gun does not make him a criminal.  How a gun is used is a matter of the heart – not a matter of ownership.

I’m Southern, but I’m not a racist.  I have friends with brown skin and black skin and yellow skin.  I love them all.  I do my best to look at people the way that God looks at people, and He looks at the heart. Growing up, members of the KKK came into our school at one point.  I saw Klan rallies in the darkness of night when I was driving home on the back roads after going to the movies.  I know someone who had a cross burned in their yard.  There is no doubt that racism existed, and still exists, in the South.  But, to be Southern doesn’t mean that you are necessarily racist.  I saw the effects of racism, and I vowed not to let it take hold in my heart or the hearts of my children.  I think that many Southerners of my generation feel the same way.  Racism is a matter of the heart, not a matter of where you were born.

I’m Southern, but I’m not ignorant.  I grew up in a family that valued education.  My parents sacrificed to help me go to college, and I was the first one in my family to earn a PhD.  I am a professor at a major university.  I work hard all day, and I come home and I take care of my family.  I cook dinner and I clean the house (most of the time).  I don’t wear “daisy dukes” and I don’t sit around on the back porch with curlers in my hair swatting flies all day waiting for my man to come home and take care of me – which, thanks to the news media, is the image that comes to mind for many people when they think of Southern women.

I’m Southern, but I’m more than a stereotype.  Please don’t put me in that “Southern” box that you have labeled as ignorant, racist, and gun-toting.  And, I won’t put you in a box either.  Everywhere I look today there are labels, and labels are associated with stereotypes, and stereotypes seldom apply with much generality.  They are caricatures meant to highlight certain features.  They are not images of truth.  The question that I’m struggling with is how can we as a society get rid of all the labels and just love and accept each other for who we are – and not how we’re labeled?  The more we label each other, the more we gravitate towards those with the same label as ours, and the more fragmented our society becomes.  Why can’t this country get back to that great statement from the pledge of allegiance:  “One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”?  Applying more labels and enacting legislation based on those labels just tears us apart.  The problems that we have in our country right now are not “label” issues – they’re heart issues.  When will we wake up and realize that our problems won’t get better until we address the sinfulness that’s inside of us all?

I’m Southern, and I’m more than a label. 

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – I Samuel 16:7