Why I'm not superwoman

Here is something that I’ve learned about myself – I am NOT superwoman.  I cannot “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man” (remember that commercial? )…  I am human, and I cannot do it all.  I WISH I could do it all.  I THOUGHT (when I was younger and more naïve) that I could do it all.  But, the reality is, I can’t.

So, I’m writing this as a public service announcement to all of the younger women out there who are trying to nurture a career and a husband and a family and feel like a failure because they can’t seem to figure out how to manage three full-time jobs and still maintain their sanity.

When I got married, I fully expected to give up my career and stay home with my children when they came along.  However, life didn’t unfold quite that way.  Instead, I found myself with a demanding full-time job, a wonderful husband and two beautiful children who needed to be loved and fed and clothed, a big, beautiful house that needed to be cleaned and cared for – you get the idea.  And, I expected myself to be the perfect employee / mom / wife.  I set the bar high.

I expected to be able to keep my house like Martha Stewart, cook (every night, from scratch) like Betty Crocker, manage my family like June Cleaver, and still be a lovely, smiling wife like Carol Brady.  Needless to say, the toys scattered around the house and the clutter on the counter and the thin layer of dust that just keeps coming back would not make Martha proud.  I sometimes order takeout or (gasp) feed my family Ramen noodles and hot dogs (sorry Betty!)  I occasionally yell at my children (June would frown).  And, I often fall asleep at 10:00pm when my husband wants me to snuggle up and watch a sci-fi movie with him (sorry Carol!)  And, if that wasn’t enough, from 9:00 – 5:00 I was going to be the most dedicated, focused employee at the company.  Reality:  While I try to give 100% when I’m at work, the truth is that I’m often tired or distracted, and I lose focus on what I’m trying to accomplish.

So, what’s the point? 

I’ve learned that it’s okay not to be superwoman.  I’ve learned that I am pretty good at multitasking (which comes in handy when you’re trying to run a conference call while sitting in carpool line without letting the teachers see that you’re on the phone).  I’ve learned that sometimes, certain things have to take a backseat when other things need to be a priority, and that’s ok.  I’ve learned that a dirty house isn’t necessarily a sign of laziness.  Instead, it’s the result of putting people before Mr. Clean (again, sorry Martha!)  I’ve learned that my family loves me anyway – even when I’m grumpy.  And, I’ve learned that God looks on the heart, and He knows my every thought (even the bad ones), and He sees me when I cry because I can’t seem to live up to the standards that I’ve set for myself – and He reaches down with His arms of love and carries me when I can’t go another step on my own.  And, I’m SO okay with that.

So, to all of you dear sisters out there who refuse to read Proverbs 31 because you just can’t bear the thought of comparing yourself to “her” – please hear me when I say that your worth is not based on the cleanliness of your house or the behavior of your children or the success of your career.  The basis for  your worth is found in this:

“For you (God) created my inmost being;  you (God) knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you (God) because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  Your works (God) are wonderful (including me), I know that full well.” (Psalm139:13-14)

And, that is all you really need to know.